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Thread: The X Grads that shoveled my driveway.....

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  1. #1
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    Mar 2007
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    Default The X Grads that shoveled my driveway.....

    I have been meaning to tell everyone about the guys that I hired to shovel my driveway this winter. (However I have been busy with the whole High Def movie thing.....but that is discussion for another day.... )

    Anyway......just after football season ended....early part of December I guess it was......I heard the door bell ring....and what sounded like a shouting match on my front porch. So I opened the door and what do I see....but this Short guy....about 4'11 and fairly wide around the middle ...perhaps 320 pounds and this tall been pole of a guy, about 6'9 and 120 pounds. The two of them are in a shoving match, with the tall guy holding the short guy in a head lock and pile driving him into my front porch post.

    "Damn you'd Willard.....I tolded ya I wuz her first and dis house is mine what fer to shovel".....followed by the tall guy screaming.....you ain't got nuffin what to shovel with septing dat ol coal shovel what yer uncles cousin twice removed on her modders side stole from the coal mine. And it got a big hole in the middle of it where he used it on the still that he and yer pa had back in the summer of 77 ......yer pa put too much of nanna Fergusons secret hooch brew stabilizer in it and it done blowed a hole clear trough dat shovel before it burned ol man GITTERS homestead down.

    Hello....may I help you? I said, as the two restlers hadn't yet taken any notice of the fact that someone had answered the door.

    Then the two, who did there best to look like anything but traveling used bait salesman....replied together.......sorry Mister.....then the short one, grabbed his yellow tugue from his tall friend, the tugue read, fat guys are sexxy too.

    Well what can I do for you I asked....wondering to myself if I had paused Mission Impossible 3 on HD DVD?

    Exuse sir....my name is Ralph Fingerstuck.......from Fingerstucks Snow Shoveling and Window cleaning....here is my card and he handed me the back of a ciggarette package which said Rothmans....I turned it over and it said FINGERSTUCKS Snow Shoveling traced in marker with a phone number on it. He said, its bedder fer da enoviroment ting if ya recycle dem cards instead of paying to have dem fancy ones made.

    Well Mr. Fingerstuck I said.......what do you charge to shovel driveways? Da whole ting he said....or just da part at da bottom? At the bottom I asked? Yeah yeah know....we can just shovel out da bottom of the driveway for say $6.00....or da whole ting for say $7.50? Well I think it would be a better deal have the whole drive way shoveled right up to the garage so I can get out of my driveway? Suppose so yeah......never taught of dat......then Willard the tall one....leaned down and said......Ralph you so stupid, I told you this is an $8.00 driveway its huge.......and then the two started to squabble and push each other again.......ummm.....listen guys.....I am missing my movie here.....would you both like to shovel the driveway....you could split the money perhaps?

    Then the two of them smiled pulled off thier old tattered gloves and spit on their hands then shook. (It was then that I noticed the copper colored X rings on both their fingers)....are you two X grads I asked? Sure we is.....we both went to different high schools togetter and we have different moms but same dads.....I am a Fingerstuck, and he is a Wartpicker from down by Clements pond....anyway...we met at X and were roomates. Wow.....what year did you graduate I asked? We we started in 91, graduated in 2007 with honors in Snow Shoveling.....we finally got a loan from da finance company to start our businesses.......we borrowed $1257.00, and only owe $3425.32 (dat 39% interest is a killer!!!!)

    Well listen guys I have to get back to my movie....go ahead and shovel the driveway.
    Last edited by Spud; 2008-05-07 at 07:45.
    THE DOGFATHER
    Pride and Loyalty
    Maroon and White for Life

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